I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
