We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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