i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have fence marks all over my body
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
