Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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