College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
