he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
