quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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