he referred to my room as the tit cave...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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