Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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