i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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