u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I want a musical about memes.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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