my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
