You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
