sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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