he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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