I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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