her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
