so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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