i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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