So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize