Swine flu is the new snow day.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?