Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it

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  (707): that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it http://tfl.nu/zuoy
  Replies (18) Good night (4640) Bad night (500) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now

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  (248): I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now http://tfl.nu/d0ke
  Replies (16) Good night (5072) Bad night (875) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.

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  (206): at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception. http://tfl.nu/j51s
  Replies (34) Good night (1650) Bad night (4685) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'

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  (503): some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?' http://tfl.nu/rnao
  Replies (12) Good night (3740) Bad night (955) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.

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  (415): It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards. http://tfl.nu/fyj9
  Replies (9) Good night (1988) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat

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  (757): He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat http://tfl.nu/9wfo
  Replies (7) Good night (2832) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us

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  (304): Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us http://tfl.nu/9jfi
  Replies (4) Good night (2442) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything

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  (706): I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything http://tfl.nu/u65o
  Replies (11) Good night (1266) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.

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  (303): I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers. http://tfl.nu/x72i
  Replies (4) Good night (1323) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.

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  (714): What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work. http://tfl.nu/so92
  Replies (7) Good night (1133) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club

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  (859): he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club http://tfl.nu/kd8o
  Replies (9) Good night (1093) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.

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  (607): To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan. http://tfl.nu/t4hh
  Replies (4) Good night (1926) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.

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  (425): Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am. http://tfl.nu/noe3
  Replies (1) Good night (1383) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants

  (812): View more from Indiana

  That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.

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  (317): You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants (812): That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub. http://tfl.nu/6wmx
  Replies (2) Good night (1013) Bad night (337)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.

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  (516): I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers. http://tfl.nu/n7z5
  Replies (2) Good night (617) Bad night (505) Order T-Shirt

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