Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order. http://tfl.nu/zk7q
  Replies (16) Good night (5838) Bad night (1485)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month http://tfl.nu/d8l1
  Replies (25) Good night (5512) Bad night (1211)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen http://tfl.nu/216j
  Replies (4) Good night (3070) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season. http://tfl.nu/pxkc
  Replies (14) Good night (3602) Bad night (1249)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum. http://tfl.nu/qm4t
  Replies (8) Good night (2249) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar. http://tfl.nu/lyc1
  Replies (8) Good night (2432) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees. http://tfl.nu/fk9m
  Replies (5) Good night (2511) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker. http://tfl.nu/yz4c
  Replies (12) Good night (973) Bad night (2091)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party. http://tfl.nu/tru3
  Replies (7) Good night (1901) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me. http://tfl.nu/xkbl
  Replies (3) Good night (880) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier http://tfl.nu/3vbg
  Replies (10) Good night (1079) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success. http://tfl.nu/houh
  Replies (3) Good night (914) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it. http://tfl.nu/cvsi
  Replies (3) Good night (850) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner. http://tfl.nu/k4un
  Replies (5) Good night (754) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse. http://tfl.nu/j30i
  Replies (2) Good night (796) Bad night (332)

Randomize