Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  what time did you get home last night?

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott

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  (917): what time did you get home last night? (1-917): SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time (1-917): He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott http://tfl.nu/lqla
  Replies (16) Good night (1894) Bad night (978)
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  (415): View more from California

  oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob

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  (415): oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob http://tfl.nu/u9lt
  Replies (3) Good night (3083) Bad night (699)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.

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  (815): There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick. http://tfl.nu/npkp
  Replies (43) Good night (8211) Bad night (957)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.

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  (410): I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it. http://tfl.nu/si6n
  Replies (19) Good night (6565) Bad night (1227)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"

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  (203): well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father" http://tfl.nu/5bjg
  Replies (20) Good night (1299) Bad night (5746)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.

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  (320): A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears. http://tfl.nu/pw7m
  Replies (41) Good night (2498) Bad night (5319)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.

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  (330): I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing. http://tfl.nu/hw5t
  Replies (6) Good night (1454) Bad night (3139)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.

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  (864): Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being. http://tfl.nu/1bas
  Replies (7) Good night (987) Bad night (1122)
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka

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  (343): The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka http://tfl.nu/nkji
  Replies (4) Good night (1190) Bad night (816)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof

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  (907): Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof http://tfl.nu/yowz
  Replies (5) Good night (1318) Bad night (501)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free

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  (781): my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free http://tfl.nu/f62q
  Replies (9) Good night (2246) Bad night (481)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.

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  (203): Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week. http://tfl.nu/kpy3
  Replies (1) Good night (416) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted

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  (914): Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted http://tfl.nu/b7is
  Replies (3) Good night (433) Bad night (242)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.

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  (407): With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again. http://tfl.nu/l988
  Replies (2) Good night (548) Bad night (237)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices

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  (908): He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices http://tfl.nu/2pbw
  Replies (1) Good night (258) Bad night (563)

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