u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
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The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
God, I missed his penis.
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