you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize