Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
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Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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