I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
