so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
