I will die if light touches me.
even my farts smell like vagina
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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