What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just gift wrapped bread.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
