I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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