he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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