apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
