you turned your livingroom into a bong?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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