Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
