WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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