So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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