I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
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He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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