just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
