You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
