Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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