so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
