Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
