coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
