I hope mine doesn't look like that
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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