how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
