Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think I am morally bankrupt
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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