my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
