i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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