I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
