ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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