The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize