I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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