the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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