when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
