That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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