then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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