clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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