We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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