Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
