...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
